Warning:

This blog could potentially contain triggers. Please make sure you are emotionally safe before continuing.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

About The Difficult Things

This will be a place for those things people don't want to talk about.  The tough stuff.  The stuff that knocks you down and stomps on your head -- but also makes you strong.

12 comments:

Bonnie said...

I hope I didn't deter you from talking in any way that works for you with my toughness comments. Healing is about you, and not the rest of the world. The fact that I talk less is a function of my life and my way of living it, and you are a very different person living a very different life, and I respect that. We just have to be ready if we choose to talk. With all my sistah energy I say, "YOU GO GIRL!"

Anonymous said...

I feel empty, alone and disrespected most of the time - I too am married to a narcissistic mean guy. I am in love with an asshole. I feel as stupid as he says I am (for staying). I am close to leaving because my kids are gone come the Fall. I love part of his family and hate to think what will happen to our traditions and our friends! Anyone get it? He even threatened to hide our money if I ever left him.

Anonymous said...

This is my first time saying this to anyone. I'll try to be brief. I have been married for 10 months and from the beginning I should have known better. My husband has been abusive in a non physical but emotional manner. The last few months he's been going through nervous breaksdowns and I have been here every step of the way. During those times he apologized for being so mean and said that person is gone and never to be seen again. He had been so attentive and sweet. We were starting to fall in love again. Before then I couldnt even ask him a question without him snapping or being really compulsive and critical. I have a 4 year old autistic daughter from a previous relationship whom he can stand or "understand" as he puts it. According to him she has been the problem in our relationship. The last few months has been scary for us both but I appreciated him for being honest about things he had lied about before and after marriage, as well as apologzing to my daughter for how he has been treating her. We even started going to church together. I thought that evil guy was gone.Well the breakdowns are gone and that person is back. I've had it. This time I have to look out for my kids. By the way Im 8 months pregnant and he hardly pays attention to me. Please tell me doing whats best for my kids is right? Im so confused but so fed up. We walk pass each other in our home like strangers. Sucks because I love him.

Anonymous said...

He doesnt care if people are around he will tell me off. I dont have family around to help me . My oldest is starting college and youngest in 1st grade . Basicly. All ages . It is hard for me to get a job . My husband gets home after 6:30 and he gets home tired . All jobs i have gotten are not even enough to pay a baby sitter. Basicly id be working for that only. I am being called a worthless piece of shit free loader. It is hard to have 3 schools to go to in am and pm. Clean , cook. Wash , bath my job never stop. He calls me good for nothing .

Anonymous said...

Please.please i knowits easier said tjan done and its hard but im stuck with 5 kids nothing to fall back.on. his abusive would go.away and com back and he promise me he was sorry he love me and what not and yet his other side would return. My.family does not know how i am misrable i to embarrase to say because i love him and once i say something there is no.going back. However dont do same mistake i did done am doing save ur self and kids . I hope u have something to fall back on as far as education. Because i dont i wad an idiot by not graduating and listiming to him. Now even if i want to leave minimum wage job will no be enough to live off of. He has told.me that he rather go off a bridge than to pay me chold support... so please before it gets as worse S mine if u have family around u do it leave .

Lori Cox said...

How can my husband be so nice to everyone else but me. I just cannot understand. We have been married for 11 years. It is utter hell. Everyday I don't know what will set him off. I am sick. Have had a cold all week. This is my first day off. I was up for most of the day then went to lay down at about 2 pm. He came in a bunch of times. Opening curtains. Turning on light. Trying to get me up. Then after unsuccessfully trying to rest I got up. Then he get really angry at me for not doing the dishes. He throws things, yells, scares my daughter, storms out. He says I have an attitude problem. He was complaining about me and didn't finish the sentence. I said finish the sentence. That is was set off his screaming fit. How do I know what will make him angry? Why can't I just keep my mouth shut? What am I supposed to do? Why can't he be as nice to me as he is to the neighbor? I have been told to just put up with it. He hasn't hit me. I just want to be dead. It would hurt less.

Tania Jones said...

My husband is seen as laid back and placid from outside. This is a slow burner (10 years), but he's slowly ebbed away any things we had in common by dismissing them as stupid or that he never liked them in the first place. He pushed me over once as someone was making inappropriate comments towards me. I get very anxious when he's around, but this isn't abuse is it? It's just me being silly....

drifters said...

I have 2 kids and have been with my husband 21 years - he's a narcissist. I am regularly emotionally abused and sometimes physically! I walk on eggshells daily. When it suits him he is a good father. I am in torment as to whether the boys would be better not living with him?! It's so hard to decide. Overall I am unhappy but I have good times most days that involve his input. He shows no remorse after an angry outburst and I have always incited it???!!!
This is what happened to me tonight
Had a good weekend overall. Hubby had a go about a couple of things like the BBQ lid not being on right and a friend coming down an hour before her hubby - he said that he didn't want her there before her partner was?? Even though the partner was at work!!! I wouldn't have cared if a friend of mine was coming and I sat with him and a pal for an hour before she arrived but that's my hubby for you. Same guy that wouldn't come away at NY with his kids and wife (and my friend and her kids) cos her husband cancelled! He stayed at home with her husband instead - speaks volumes about his priorities....
Anyway tonight my son wanted a football show on and my hubby said no because he didn't want it on! There was no other stuff available to watch and he only had half an hour before bed. He asked again and my hubby said no and then muttered something at him under his breath - no idea what he said but my son said 'shut up - is that what you said to me?' I then said 'what did you say?' as I wanted to know what he'd said! It was all ridiculous and about a tv show and my son was being perfectly well behaved. My hubby said he did say something but nothing rude!??? Yeh, right! Funny how he won't say what he did say! Anyway he went mental at me for asking what he'd said and being defensive of my son cos he said he said nothing bad/rude! He went right into my face told me I'd belittled him and said my son should feel bad for starting the whole thing!? What did he do apart from ask my hubby what he'd said!? I am so confused. I got pushed out of the room once they'd gone to bed and sworn at. Should I not have asked my hubby what he'd said? Would every mum not have asked that? Advice!!???? Am I going mad???

Anonymous said...

(18 years of abuse.... most mentally and verbally. Some physical. Ignored my kids but his were the best. He never hit my kids just me. I took the abuse so he would NOT hit my children. The physical abuse heals.... scars heal. Tbe mental and verbal will abuse NEVER heal. I cant trust another man until i get myself together. My children have all grown up and started families of their own (both of mine and both of his... my kids als). We split up over a year ago and i still look over my shoulder. He threatened to unload his gun into my head. So yes i am still scared. I will get thru. And for calling ourselves stupid.... i have done that and we are not stupid. Just in love with who we thougbt they were. But it will get worse before it gets better. Always put your childrens happiness first. I wish i did. They are souch happier now than they ever were and i am happy. I will never look back but i will always loom over my shoulder. I hope in time i will learn to truat again. And maybe even one day.... i hope to love agaun. But for now I am going to make myself happy. With the help and love from my children and grand babies. Live is always near me and life is worth living again. So... just hang in there. It will get better. God bless.

Anonymous said...

This IS and has been my life.

Anonymous said...

This IS my life. I thought I was the only one.

Unknown said...

I am a mother of 4 and understand, I am lucky to be alive BC I had cancer and still not in good health, I am the one who cooks, cleans, pays bills, deals with everyday life, my husband puts me down, calls me names, says horrible things when he is in bad mood, if I cook he complains, if I buy him something he wants he complains, when I work he complains, when we are broke I need to figure out how to get him his cigs or I deal with even more complaining, I am a cunt, bitch, fat, old anything to make me feel like nothing, I went to college and made honor role at age 33 to try to better mine and kids life, did I get an I am proud of you or good job, no he says well let's hope you get a job than I will say something, nothing is ever good enough or enough, why do I stay, I am to broke and bad health to take care of me and kids on own and I have none to turn to,plus I want to believe when he says love you so I understand its not always that easy plus I would somehow be the bad one if I left BC he is manipulative