Warning:

This blog could potentially contain triggers. Please make sure you are emotionally safe before continuing.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Prey

Another excerpt from my story Waiting to be Heard.

**********

There’s nothing like being prey. You never relax. You never sleep soundly. You startle easily. You have to identify every noise in the room you are in. You have to identify every smell. You never know where the danger is or where the attack will come from.

Have you ever been hunted? If not, then you don’t truly know fear.

If you’ve watched horror movies then you’ve gotten a glimpse of it. The way your heart races and you scream at the character not to open the door, go into the room, look in the mirror. And you are only watching it. Imagine living it.

Imagine being the one character that survives the first movie only to be brought back again and again in the sequels, living the same danger and fear.

That’s what it’s like.

You are constantly waiting for the hammer to fall. You know the time will come when you make a mistake that will cost you your life. As you get to the end of each day you are amazed that you’ve made it through another one unscathed. Well, sort of unscathed.

If you think that you can go through something like this without long term effects then you are very naive.

4 comments:

Kazzy said...

Yikes. I can't pretend to imagine.

Bonnie said...

This is exactly why I do not watch horror movies. Ever. That sort of adrenaline burns you out and makes you jumpy. It's bad enough to have it part of your experience. I've never understood returning for more.

From Tracie said...

This is such a perfect description of how it feels to be a child growing up in abuse....over and over again, every day.

I still, even as an adult in a safe place, am easy to startle, jump at every noise (or imagined noise) never completely at peace.

Thank you for sharing this with the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.

kate1975 said...

I am sorry that we both know what it is like to be prey. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate