As far as I can tell, people find this blog most often through a Google search (or Yahoo, whatever). And the most common phrase that brings them here is "my husband is mean" or some variation on that theme. They are directed to my post My Husband is Mean to Me and the Kids. I am so saddened by how many women are searching with that phrase.
Sometimes they write to me. They tell me their stories. They are heartbreaking. These women are so lost and alone. And scared.
Most of them comment anonymously.
I understand. It's a scary thing to admit that your husband is sometimes a monster. It's hard to admit to yourself. And maybe they worry that he will somehow find out that they've told someone else and it will invite danger.
But because they are anonymous, I can't respond. And that breaks my heart. I write this post to them.
I want to reach out. I want to tell you I heard your pain. I feel it. It's real. I want to tell you that you aren't crazy. I want to tell you that I'm so sorry he hurt you. That marriage isn't supposed to be like that. That you deserve better.
I want to invite you to keep talking to me. I want to tell you that I am a safe person to talk to. I will listen. I will hurt with you. I will not betray you. Everyone needs someone to talk to. You aren't alone; I want to tell you that.
I want to offer support and validation. Or just a listening heart. When you reach out to me, I want to reach back. I want you to know that you are heard. That you matter. That your pain matters.
Some of you may never feel safe enough to let me know who you are -- and that's okay. Hopefully, you will read this and know that I carry your story with me. Thank you for sharing it in whatever way you could. May you find moments of peace to carry you through until you find the strength and support to find change. Thank you for sharing your pain.
If you think you don't have any options, please read What are My Options When My Husband is Mean?